A Widow’s Watch
My husband’s illness caught me off guard. I was not prepared for the journey I was about to go on. Gene, my husband was in his early fifties and so was I. I did not see this trainwreck coming. The signs were very subtle at first. My husband was a very active, vibrant man who lived life to the fullest. He took care of business and he took care of his family. I begin to notice changes in his behavior that I did not understand. My lack of understanding or denial, would cause me to become frustrated with him. My older brother told me something that changed the trajectory of the entire situation. There is power in words. He merely said this to me, “If you think it is hard for you, it’s even harder for Gene. He’s a man.” This was an eye opener for me. A reality check. I mentioned earlier that it was difficult but also gratifying. We were already close. His illness brought us closer than anyone can imagine. There was no time to waste. He was always so appreciative for everything I did for him. He tried so hard. He never lost his sense of wit and sense of humor. I miss that. He loved to sing and play his music all day. It would l drive me crazy because he would spend so much time perfecting his craft. One day he stopped doing what he loved, playing his music. I did not realize until years later when I heard him playing his music again that the one thing that he did that used to drive me crazy, brought me joy to the point of tears. It was literally music to my ears. There is saying that goes like this, you never miss your water until the well runs dry. Although I feel his Spirit, I do miss his presence.